the well-known jewish blogger dovbear has written a very interesting piece here in answer to the following question:
Why do solid Jews get so insecure around caftans and fur hats?
a frummily-dressed and therefore "proper" jew yesterday
the answer he gives is, in part:
It seems to me to be a mixture of perhaps four things. First, we are all brought up to admire frumkeit. Even wholly non-practising Jews look at Rabbis with respect and – at least until the whinging, preaching, chumras and demands for money become too much – affection. And the Charedim are ritualistically frum, which is actually how we define frumkeit. A man who davens 3 times a day, wears arba kanfot and is careful what he eats – that’s a frum man. A man who always looks after the sick, goes miles to do nachum aveilim and is always there when someone needs support – that’s a mensch. Different.