Category Archives: Esoterica

Spiritualism, Perrenialism, Syncretism

The Paradox

By avicenna | Published: November 20, 2011

The Muslims are not happy!
They’re not happy in Gaza.
They’re not happy in Egypt.
They’re not happy in Libya.
They’re not happy in Morocco.
They’re not happy in Iran.
They’re not happy in Iraq.
They’re not happy in Yemen.
They’re not happy in Afghanistan.
They’re not happy in Pakistan.
They’re not happy in Syria.
They’re not happy in Lebanon.

And where are they happy ?

They’re happy in England.
They’re happy in France.
They’re happy in Italy.
They’re happy in Germany.
They’re happy in Sweden.
They’re happy in the USA.
They’re happy in Norway.
They’re happy in Canada.

They’re happy in any country that is not Muslim!

And who do they blame?
Not Islam.
Not their leadership.
Not themselves.

They blame the countries they are happy in!

[Anon]

Posted in Esoterica | 1 Comment

unfortunately, this is not haredi satire….

By bananabrain | Published: August 17, 2011

i came upon this notice in synagogue this morning. it makes interesting reading – as a piece of satire, of course, which i hoped and prayed it is, but unfortunately, on investigation, it isn’t, although it was, due to its over-the-topness, taken as such by the regulars, which was a relief. i know there are synagogues where it would not occur to anyone to think it might be satire – there is at least one commentator who sympathises, but nevertheless thinks it’s “overstated”!

the state of "yiddishkeit" yesterday

the state of "yiddishkeit" yesterday

anyway, it appears to be (you can download it from here) from one of the increasingly odd sub-groups of the breslover sect of hasidim, who you may have seen in the recent tv documentary partying at their annual jamboree at the sect founder’s tomb in the town of uman in the ukraine. they are regarded as somewhat odd even by other hasidim (in a kind of sufi high-on-G!D hippy kind of way) but they are rather obsessed with the kabbalistic aspects of correct sexual activity, the piece itself being extremely revealing of the attitudes that filter through in much of the discourse from the haredi world, particularly the hasidic bits, so i thought i’d share it, with some translation and commentary:

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Also posted in Activism, Exegesis, Farce, Freedom of Expression, Freedom of Religion, Hermeneutics, Jewish Extremism, Laughs, Nutters, Obscurantism, Sectarianism, Sexuality | Leave a comment

kabbalah loony-fest: global aftershocks continue

By bananabrain | Published: March 9, 2011

“Since we decided to do this conference, it seems to me the energy has gone insane all around the world.”

thus karen berg of the kabbalah centre.

it seems that the “energy” has indeed “gone insane” from the “power of peace” conference: the brothers of centre aficionado lisa tchenguiz have just been arrested in connection with an investigation into the collapsed icelandic bank kaupthing.

obviously, the kabbalah centre will be rushing to claim credit for this turn of events, it having about as much to do with their conference as the other effects they claim.

i think someone has tattooed the wrong letter triad on their bum.

Also posted in Crime, Farce, Nutters | 2 Comments

the kabbalah loony-fest and the levers of power and influence

By bananabrain | Published: March 8, 2011

if the kabbalah centre are to be believed, their recent “power of peace” conference was responsible for the current reshaping under way in the middle east. according to the founder’s wife, karen berg:

“Since we decided to do this conference, it seems to me the energy has gone insane all around the world.”

according to her, this is because of the butterfly effect. as usual, proper science is being pressed into service as pseudo-scientific twaddle in order to bolster outrageous claims of causality and influence, but as we know from that deepak chopra-caused earthquake, that’s nothing new.

what is somewhat more worrying is the attendee list at the conference. a quick scan reveals the following:

  • philanthropist / socialite lisa tchenguiz, also known as “britain’s richest divorcée” and sister of the property magnates and entrepreneurs vincent and robert tchenguiz – so presumably, like other celebrity aficionados, a key target for flattery and significant personal and family funding.
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Also posted in Nutters, Obscurantism | Leave a comment

The History of Alcohol in Islam

By Guest | Published: July 8, 2010

This is a cross-post by Lord Curzon from Coming Anarchy

Muslims are prohibited from drinking alcohol. But why? In objectively reviewing for the ban in the Koran, one can only leave bewildered. Occasional passages that do not refer to alcohol as it is known today is interpreted as being a complete prohibition on alcohol consumption, without exception.

The Koran has a few sections that cryptically refer to alcohol. In 4:43, Muslims are forbidden to attend to prayers while intoxicated; in 2:219, intoxicants are said to contain good and evil, but the evil is greater than the good. In these two sections, the word for “intoxicated” is sukara which is derived from the word “sugar” and means drunk or intoxicated. In 5:90, “intoxicants” are called “abominations of Satan’s handiwork” intended to turn people away from God and prayer, and Muslims are therefore ordered to abstain. Here, the word is al-khamr, which is related to the verb “to ferment,” and probably refers to fermented sugar drinks. This word could be used to describe other intoxicants such as the Roman era wine.

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Posted in Esoterica | 20 Comments

Dodgy Politics for a Progressive Generation

By Effendi | Published: June 30, 2010

Sunny Hundal filmed here at the last Pickled Politics meet-up, demonstrating the meaning of “Progressive Politics” to his adoring fans and Guardian readers:

Update: The rope-cutting scene from Blog Wars:

Posted in Esoterica | 16 Comments

Heeeeeere’s Mahdi!

By Faisal | Published: June 30, 2010

From a televised Peace TV extravaganza:

A man steps up to the mike and reveals himself on live TV as Imam Mahdi, herald to the Second Coming of Jesus Christ the Messiah .

Hilarity and confusion ensues as the smug beardy presenter gleefully explains why the man can’t be the Mahdi – he can’t speak Arabic.

But is that the only doctrinal proof of the personage of the Mahdi? Surely Jesus, who spoke Aramaic in his last worldly appearance, would be “cosmic” enough to know that the best way to communicate to the Southasian Peace TV audience would be in English.

Even Zakir Naik would know to do that.

Posted in Esoterica | 7 Comments

Coming Out as an atheist

By Faisal | Published: June 5, 2010

This is a brave and thoughtful article in CiF by Alom Shaha. It is 2010, yet this is an account by a man born into a muslim family who is careful not to offend or disappoint family and friends by “coming out” as an atheist. This article will be very helpful to those muslims who cannot articulate this statement, not just because of the ridiculous ‘Law of Apostasy’ which has little chance of being applied in Britain, but because of the fear of severing the ties that bind.

Well done Mr Shaha.

I am an atheist. I imagine that the typical Cif belief reader may not think this is a particularly big deal, but it is for me, because I’m not just an atheist – I’m an apostate from Islam. Apparently there are people who would happily kill me for making such a statement. But I’m not expecting to be killed, or even threatened; despite what the BNP and certain elements of the press might want you to think, the overwhelming majority of Muslims are not rabid fundamentalists who respond with violence to every perceived slight.

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Posted in Esoterica | 1 Comment

religious idiots round up: vengeful volcanoes

By bananabrain | Published: May 12, 2010

of course, nobody should be surprised that when a natural disaster occurs, the usual suspects jump on the bandwagon to explain why it proves their wacky theologies and that G!D Is Having a good old Smite at people of whom they disapprove or, alternatively, that it’s all part of the dastardly plans of the illuminati or reptilian space overlords.

a reptilian overlord yesterday

anyway, we’ve had boobquake, gayquake and immorality-inspired flooding so, predictably, our new icelandic friend eyjafjallajökull has been pressed into surface for this purpose, proving variously that:

1. we should never have turned on that large hadron collider

2. iceland is being too tolerant of neo-paganism and europe of gay rights

3. G!D Disapproves of “obamacare”

4. people are having a go at the pope

5. aliens (or satan) are doing space paintings with ufos

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Also posted in Anti Muslim bigotry, Antisemitism, Blogosphere, Environmental, Farce, International Affairs, Israel/Palestine, Media, Misc, Obscurantism | Leave a comment

G!D the “misogynist” and other cyclical lepidopterisms

By bananabrain | Published: May 6, 2010

thanks to the delightful sonia from pickled politics, i ended up in a jolly discussion over at butterflies and wheels on feminism and religion. they seem to have closed the comments for some reason, but i still thought it was an interesting subject and thought i’d continue it here if anyone (like ophelia benson or amy clare) was interested. there are some unresolved questions. amy asks:

“Do Anglicans, even moderates, really think of G!D as a sexless being? I was under the impression that most moderate religious people still think of G!D as male. People could use the singular ‘they’ and refer to a ‘parent’ if they were really that bothered.”

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Also posted in Blogosphere, Ethics, Exegesis, Feminism, Hermeneutics, Human Rights, Interfaith, Jewish Extremism, Moral relativism, Obscurantism, Secularism | 8 Comments

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