Category Archives: Drollery

This is a guest post from Saudi Arabia by Mullah Anonymous

Minister of Saudisation and Slavery

It is with regret to announce the sudden death of the Yemeni origin Saudi Minister of Labour Mr. Adel Fakieh. His death was a result a Road Traffic Accident. He was being driven by a Bangali chauffeur whose work permit profession was documented as baker. The car was of German origin while the colliding vehicle was Japanese whose driver is of Sudani origin . Mr. Adel was dressed in the finest robes at the time made of silk from Iran and stitched by the tailors from Pakistan. Emergency services move his obese body from the accident site to the Indian owned Saudi German Hospital. Attempts by professional Filpino and Egyptian medical staff (who were very busy training certain idiotic Saudi graduates of Bedouin origins on the importance of oxygen to the human brain), were unsuccessful. All the work permits of the medical staff were in order, except the radiologist from India was discovered to have a fake degree.

These were sent in by brother Muhammed, Londoner and an ex-Hizbie. Enjoy.

Takbir! *points AK47 upwards and fires a few rounds into the air*

1. Is that a copy of Nidham al-Islam in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
2. Fancy joining my halaqa?
3. Y’know, I’ve read all three volumes of Islamic Shaksiyyah, in Arabic.
4. Your jilbab looks amazing.
5. You know babe, I sold the most copies of Khilafah magazine in Stoke on Trent last month.
6. I just want to read mafahim to you all night.
7. Hey there, I couldn’t help but notice the way you were handing out those leaflets.
8. A hot girl walks past three shabs. The first says, ‘subhanallah’. The second says ‘mashallah’. The third says, ‘inshallah’.
9. So, babe, want me to show you some dangerous concepts?
10. I’m going to add you to my list of dawah contacts.

Pass me the remote control, I want to watch the Mullah Show on the Islamist Channel!

Via Letters of Note:

At the height of World War II on April 6th, 1943, British Ambassador to Moscow, Sir Archibald Clark Kerr, wrote the following letter to Foreign Office minister Lord Reginald Pembroke in an effort to brighten up his day. Proof – as if it were needed – that name-based punnery and mild xenophobia did a roaring trade long before the internet was fired up.

Transcript

H.M. EMBASSY
MOSCOW

Lord Pembroke
The Foreign Office
London

6th April 1943

My Dear Reggie,

In these dark days man tends to look for little shafts of light that spill from Heaven. My days are probably darker than yours, and I need, my God I do, all the light I can get. But I am a decent fellow, and I do not want to be mean and selfish about what little brightness is shed upon me from time to time. So I propose to share with you a tiny flash that has illuminated my sombre life and tell you that God has given me a new Turkish colleague whose card tells me that he is called Mustapha Kunt.