Author Archives: Abdul Hamid al Manchesteri

These were sent in by brother Muhammed, Londoner and an ex-Hizbie. Enjoy.

Takbir! *points AK47 upwards and fires a few rounds into the air*

1. Is that a copy of Nidham al-Islam in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
2. Fancy joining my halaqa?
3. Y’know, I’ve read all three volumes of Islamic Shaksiyyah, in Arabic.
4. Your jilbab looks amazing.
5. You know babe, I sold the most copies of Khilafah magazine in Stoke on Trent last month.
6. I just want to read mafahim to you all night.
7. Hey there, I couldn’t help but notice the way you were handing out those leaflets.
8. A hot girl walks past three shabs. The first says, ‘subhanallah’. The second says ‘mashallah’. The third says, ‘inshallah’.
9. So, babe, want me to show you some dangerous concepts?
10. I’m going to add you to my list of dawah contacts.

Pass me the remote control, I want to watch the Mullah Show on the Islamist Channel!

Via Letters of Note:

At the height of World War II on April 6th, 1943, British Ambassador to Moscow, Sir Archibald Clark Kerr, wrote the following letter to Foreign Office minister Lord Reginald Pembroke in an effort to brighten up his day. Proof – as if it were needed – that name-based punnery and mild xenophobia did a roaring trade long before the internet was fired up.

Transcript

H.M. EMBASSY
MOSCOW

Lord Pembroke
The Foreign Office
London

6th April 1943

My Dear Reggie,

In these dark days man tends to look for little shafts of light that spill from Heaven. My days are probably darker than yours, and I need, my God I do, all the light I can get. But I am a decent fellow, and I do not want to be mean and selfish about what little brightness is shed upon me from time to time. So I propose to share with you a tiny flash that has illuminated my sombre life and tell you that God has given me a new Turkish colleague whose card tells me that he is called Mustapha Kunt.