“Yeh, you get me bruv!”

A bit busy at the moment. What with the General Secretary of the SPLA/M* and the SPLA/M deputy interior minister in the so-called “National Unity” government presently in prison, after having been beaten and arrested at a legal demonstration this morning in Omdurman (along with an unknown number of others).

All of the South is now under a state of emergency. All foreigners confined to their hotels in the Southern capital, Juba. Running street battles in Omdurman. al-Jazeera cameraman beaten and had his tapes confiscated by secret police. Story being carried on al-’Arabiya, but not English-language al-Jazeera.

*SPLA/M – Sudanese People’s Liberation Army/Movement – the main Southern political/military organisation in Sudan. Also, the partner with the northern Arab, NCP/NIF of President Bashir in the National Unity government.

Please, DFTT.

Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab, as she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse with her. He then went to his Companions and told them: The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil, so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.

Fuck off.

And the wise shaykh did say upon that day unto the God-fearing men of al-Luton:

Go ye and wear a big beard and nightie – And , in sooth! When the nights draw in and it gets a bit nippy in the Dar ul-Harb, you are permitted to wear a duffle coat! Fie unto the unbelievers and women who go astray, go ye and make omelettes of shame upon their heads!

Hearing this, the bruvvas did don nighties and put aside their Bics. High and low they searched out the parkas and duffle coats their elder brothers did wear to comprehensive school in 1978. They did don these sacred garments of the winter time and compete with one another in egg throwing to please their shaykh.

Ameen!