Friday Caption Competition – 25/09/2009

The long-awaited return of the Friday caption competition – this week featuring everybody’s favourite civil servant, Azad Ali.

Azad Ali Dressing Up

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36 Comments

  1. Al-Qanaas Al-Masri
    Posted September 25, 2009 at 2:59 PM | Permalink

    It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
    It’s fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k

  2. dawood
    Posted September 25, 2009 at 3:04 PM | Permalink

    In Jamaati
    Yes, you can sail the seven seas
    In Jamaati!
    Yes, we can kill the Bangalees
    In Jamaati
    Come on now, people, make a stand
    In Jamaati, in Jamaati!
    Can’t you see we need a hand
    In Jamaati!
    Come on, protect our Muslim Lands
    In Jamaati!
    Come on and join the MCB
    With Jamaati!
    Come on people, and make a stand
    In Jamaati, in Jamaati, in Jamaati (in Jamaati)

    They want you! they want you!
    They want you as a new recruit!

    They want you! they want you!
    They want you as a new recruit!

    Who me?

  3. Al-Qanaas Al-Masri
    Posted September 25, 2009 at 3:04 PM | Permalink

    Azad and the rest of the IFE team should really do a re-make of the Village People video.

    But who would be who?

    I definitely can see Abdul Bary as the Red Indian chief. I guess Abdurrahman Jafar from the Muslim Safety Forum would have to be the policeman with the gay facial hair.

  4. Effendi
    Posted September 25, 2009 at 3:27 PM | Permalink

    Young man, there’s no need to feel down.
    I said, young man, All us Muslims who are brown.
    I said, young man, ’cause Jamaat is in town
    There’s no need to be unhappy.

    It’s fun to be in the IFE, yay!
    It’s fun to be in the IFE, hey!

    They have everything for Muslims to enjoy,
    You can hang out with all the boys

    It’s fun to be in the IFE, yay!
    It’s fun to be in the IFE, yay hey

    Young man, young man, there’s no need to feel down

    chorus:
    I-F-E Hey…
    You’ll find it in I-F-E…yay!

    I-F-E Hey…
    You’ll find it in I-F-E…yay!

  5. Abu Wannabe Arab
    Posted September 25, 2009 at 3:32 PM | Permalink

    you guys are so wrong!!

  6. IFE playa
    Posted September 25, 2009 at 4:04 PM | Permalink

    Ahem. Is it just me or is Azad Ali polishing a fireman’s helmet?

  7. Abu Faris
    Posted September 25, 2009 at 4:21 PM | Permalink

    When he hears that muazzin call, Fireman Azad is there on time.
    Putting on his jallabiyah and hat, in less than seven seconds flat.

    He’s always on the scene. Fireman Azad! And his engine’s bright and clean. Fireman Azad!
    You can not ignore, Azad is the bro next door.

    Driving down the busy streets, greeting people that he meets.
    Someone could be in a jam, so, hurry Fireman Azad.

    So move aside, make way. Fireman Azad! ‘Cos he’s gonna save the day. Fireman Azad!
    He’s the one we adore. Azad is the bro next door.

    When he’s fighting fires, he’s always cool and calm, and everyone admires, when there’s a fire alarm.
    He’s great, he never tires. He always sees it through and that’s true.

    So move aside, make way. Fireman Azad! ‘Cos he’s gonna save the day. Fireman Azad!
    He’s the one we adore. Azad is the bro next door.

    If your cat’s caught in a tree, Azad will climb and set it free.
    If you’re stuck give him a shout. Azad will always help you out.

    Hooray for Fireman Azad! He’s always brave and strong.
    Hooray for Fireman Azad! And when there’s something wrong.
    He’ll always be along to help both you and me Don’t you see.

    He’s always on the scene. Fireman Azad! And his engine’s bright and clean. Fireman Azad!
    You cannot ignore, Azad is the bro next door.

    Everybody knows Fireman Azad. Dressed in his fireman’s clothes. Fireman Azad!
    Well, we’ve seen him before. Azad is the bro next door.

    So move aside, make way. Fireman Azad! ‘Cos he’s gonna save the day. Fireman Azad!
    He’s the one we adore. Azad is the bro next door.

    He’s always on the scene. Fireman Azad! And his engine’s always bright and clean. Fireman Azad!
    You can not ignore, Azad is the bro next door.

  8. Abu Faris
    Posted September 25, 2009 at 4:23 PM | Permalink

    My vote goes to Effendi’s contribution.

    Best line?

    “I said, young man, All us Muslims who are brown.”

    ROFL (as I believe it is proper to write here).

  9. Posted September 25, 2009 at 4:29 PM | Permalink

    Spittoon has got talent.

  10. Posted September 25, 2009 at 4:44 PM | Permalink

    The Full Monty?

  11. bananabrain
    Posted September 25, 2009 at 5:23 PM | Permalink

    is this a still from a film called “La Vie En Hose”?

    b’shalom

    bananabrain

  12. Abu Faris
    Posted September 26, 2009 at 8:49 AM | Permalink

    I”m the troubled Islamist, fuckin pencil pusher.
    I’m the fear addicted, danger illustrator.

    I’m a civil servant, twisted Islamist.
    You should be the Islamist, twisted Islamist.
    I’m an Islamist, twisted Islamist.

    I’m the bitch you hated, filth infatuated.
    Yeah. I’m the pain you tasted, fell intoxicated.

    I’m an Islamist, twisted Islamist.
    You should be the Islamist, twisted Islamist.

    I’m the self inflicted, mind detonator.
    Yeah. I’m the one infected, twisted animator.

    I’m an Islamist, twisted Islamist.
    You should be the Islamist, twisted Islamist.
    I’m an Islamist, twisted Islamist… Islamist… Islamist…
    Islamist…

  13. Zalloom
    Posted September 26, 2009 at 9:55 AM | Permalink

    I’m too sexy for my hat?

  14. Yaseen
    Posted September 28, 2009 at 10:48 AM | Permalink

    Look forward to seeing the Spittoon munafiqoon and kafiroon at the event, hopefully you will have the guts to creep out from under your stones and present some of your absurd, misleading and offensive opinions at the event, may be Azad could attend and you could make these statements to his face you nasty little cretins.

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  15. Abdul Rehman
    Posted September 28, 2009 at 10:53 AM | Permalink

    This is why you people will fail.

    You claim to have a legitimate interpretation of Islam yet you mock your own brothers and no interpretation of the Islamic sources condones this.

    Brother Azad will have a case against all of you on the day of judgement Inshallah.

    As for you lot, who make fun of people:

    Imam Al-Bayhaqi narrates in Shu’ab al-Eman:

    Muhammed (SAW) said:

    “As for those people that make fun of people, for them a gate of Jannah will be opened.It will be said to them, ‘Come (and enter).’ That person will come with all their anguish and depression, but when he gets close, the gate will be closed in his face. Then another gate (to Jannah) will be opened and it will be said,’Come (and enter).’ So that person will come with all his anguish and depression. But when he gets close, the gate will be closed in his face.This will keep happening to him until it will get to the point where it will be said ‘Come (and enter)’ and he will not come from the despair of ever entering paradise”

    You may get a shallow intellectual kick out of mocking sincere Muslims, but this will clearly be costly.

    Fear Allah (SWT), your creator, if you have any humility.

  16. Abu Faris
    Posted September 28, 2009 at 11:29 AM | Permalink

    Is it obligatory to have a humour-bypass when one becomes an Islamist, then?

    Brother Azad will have a case against all of you on the day of judgement Inshallah.

    God willing he will have a case against us?

    Now, surely it is not so good to wish others ill?

  17. Effendi
    Posted September 28, 2009 at 12:36 PM | Permalink

    You may get a shallow intellectual kick out of mocking sincere Muslims, but this will clearly be costly.

    I’m fully prepared to pay the cost for the intellectual kick we get from mocking sincere Islamists like Brother Azad, not to mention racists, anti-Muslim bigots and other such nasty people.

  18. Abu Wannabe Arab
    Posted September 28, 2009 at 1:09 PM | Permalink

    And HT will have to pay the price of mocking sincere Muslims all around the world who they have condemned as Kuffar simply for not supporting their insane violent political project.

  19. Shitoon
    Posted September 29, 2009 at 12:00 PM | Permalink

    “One day, when he reaches puberty, Faisal Gazi will be able to grow a beard like this”

  20. Effendi
    Posted September 29, 2009 at 12:05 PM | Permalink

    It’s fun to be in the IFE, yay!
    It’s fun to be in the IFE, hey!

  21. Shitoon
    Posted September 29, 2009 at 12:28 PM | Permalink

    The amount of mocking of gay people on here by Spitoonites is shocking

    Does Douglas Murray know?

  22. dawood
    Posted September 29, 2009 at 12:32 PM | Permalink

    In Jamaati!
    Come on, protect our Muslim Lands
    In Jamaati!
    Come on and join the MCB
    With Jamaati!
    Come on people, and make a stand
    In Jamaati, in Jamaati, in Jamaati (in Jamaati)

  23. IFE backdoor bandit
    Posted September 29, 2009 at 12:43 PM | Permalink

    Chillax Shitoon babe. I think you’ll find we’re making fun of Brother Azad – not gay people. When you gonna join us in the hot-tub anyway ? You know you want to!! ;-)

  24. Muslim
    Posted September 29, 2009 at 2:33 PM | Permalink

    “Following directions from their Sheikh, Douglas Murray
    (“Where a mosque has become a centre of hate it should be closed and pulled down. If that means that some Muslims don’t have a mosque to go to, then they’ll just have to realise that they aren’t owed one. “) the Spitoon crew get to work pulling down mosques”

  25. Abu Faris
    Posted September 29, 2009 at 7:56 PM | Permalink

    Where a mosque has become a centre of hate it should be closed and pulled down. If that means that some Muslims don’t have a mosque to go to, then they’ll just have to realise that they aren’t owed one.

    I’ll go along with that – and I would also suggest that if any place of worship / meeting hall had become such a centre of hate it might be reasonable that it met the same fate.

  26. Posted September 30, 2009 at 10:26 AM | Permalink

    “I’ll go along with that – and I would also suggest that if any place of worship / meeting hall had become such a centre of hate it might be reasonable that it met the same fate.”

    Yes, I completely agree with that.

  27. Ghazal
    Posted October 2, 2009 at 12:27 AM | Permalink

    “[Spittoon] aims to contribute ideas to that intellectual tradition, now losing ground to power structures and religious “orthodoxies”. Ideas which respect ‘a willingness to dialogue, a spirit of criticism, moderation of judgment, philological scruple, a sense of the complexity of things’”.

    This is a very grand statement indeed – It’s a shame that Spittoon does not live up to it. I have followed Spittoon for two months and I am shocked by the way in which individuals express themselves, and particularly the targeting of active Muslims in the community.

    It is perfectly fine for Spittoon to be a critical voice against religious orthodoxies – but I don’t see why this cannot be done with respect. The Friday Night Caption feature does this site no favours. The subsequent comments which have unfolded each respective caption are highly mocking and crude. This does not allude to real sincerity and a genuine search for the truth.

    While I am a practising Muslim, my best friend is an atheist. We can talk of our differences but it is done with love, respect and civility; I seek the truth in my life and am willing to engage with others who have a different opinion, perhaps even against what I hold true, as long as it is done within this particular spirit. The way however in which comments are expressed on this site, and the foul language and tone leave a horrible taste in my mouth….

    The truth is that some of the political and cultural practices around Islam can be quite abhorrent at times. I am definately interested in sincere criticism of deviant practices and distortion of Islam’s true nature. However, while some articles on Spittoon appear sincere in their endeavour to reach the truth, others are particularly vile in their tone, and on that basis I would consider those contributions as not being genuine.

    As for brother Azad Ali – He is a shining example of someone who is dedicated to serving his community. What-is-more, he has been reinstated back to the Civil Service and is a member of Liberty’s Council – if his views were so abhorrent then why does he have this prestigious position in wider British society? Have any of you guys actually met him?? I would be interested to know.

    Spittoon – if you wish to be taken seriously as contributing to an intellectual discourse please stop villifying Muslims. I am interested in criticism and the genuine search for truth, but to mock and ridicule others is not becoming of a genuine discourse.

  28. Posted October 2, 2009 at 12:44 AM | Permalink

    Ghazal, are you the same Ghazal who popped up to defend the Awlaki supporting “human rights” organisation Cage Prisoners? If so, I can’t say I’m surprised that you also support Azad Ali, another Awlaki fan.

  29. fayss
    Posted October 2, 2009 at 4:36 PM | Permalink

    faisal will never hit puberty, he senses the drool dribbling down from the tip of his cock, but cos his belly hangs over, he can’t see his cock to figure out what is causing that feeling!

    stick to the burqa faisal, it fits you nicely and I’m sure there are many desperate bengali hairy toads out there that would happily mount you for a thump!

    don’t be disheartened, you’ll find ur prince soon!

  30. Sincere Talib
    Posted October 2, 2009 at 4:50 PM | Permalink

    Ghazal.

    As I was reading your comment, I was mostly in agreement about the language used on this site. And then I read your remarks about Azad Ali and you lost me 101 percent.

    How can you attack us for merely criticising other people on a website – and then go on to defend a guy a who actually believes in blowing up people???

    Which is worse in your book? Using bad language about Muslims or advocating murder?

  31. Ghazal
    Posted October 7, 2009 at 11:03 PM | Permalink

    Yossarian – yes this is the same Ghazal and thank you for avoiding the gist of what I was saying. I ask again – is polite language really too much too ask from certain contributors? Freedom of expression is certainly a lofty aspiration, but what ought to be higher in the hierarchy of values is the search for truth. Basic etiquette can help foster the search for truth….

    Taking a psychological analysis here…For some contributors on this site there is not a sincere pursuit of truth because they are intoxicated by being provocative rather than a genuine providing of insight. Controversy and difference of opinion are welcoming, but vile language and puerile behaviour are not. As your fingers hover over the keyboard – ask yourselves – what is my intention in posting this? Does this serve to entertain me or am I generally adding to knowledge? Ultimately – would the Almighty be pleased with this?

    “Ghazal, are you the same Ghazal who popped up to defend the Awlaki supporting “human rights” organisation Cage Prisoners? If so, I can’t say I’m surprised that you also support Azad Ali, another Awlaki fan”

    ‘You’re not surprised’ but I didn’t even know – I’m not a member of the Thought Police – and anyway I clicked on your link and all Ali has done is quote Awlaki regarding dawah! What I support is Azad Ali’s community work and the work of Cageprisoners who support tortured people and those detained without trail. I’m not going to spend my day making severely remote connections between people.

    Sincere Talib… I am not aware of Azad Ali’s support of suicide bombing but please do enlighten me where you found that out.

  32. Abu Wannabe Arab
    Posted October 8, 2009 at 8:04 AM | Permalink

    I agree Ghazal we should maintain decorum, come on guys he does have a good point.

  33. hohoho
    Posted October 9, 2009 at 3:57 PM | Permalink

    “Guys Faisal Gazi’s nose is so far up David T’s arse we are going to have to use this crane and suction pump to get him out”

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